blurb

"Gossamer Girl in Garden"


I try to thread the pieces together. Make the string stick. But mud keeps getting stuck in my teeth, in my jaws. I spend my days eating dirt, oranges—pick the ants off the pits of my knees. Passersby’s tell me to start making mandalas, tell me it will be better if I just echo the stars. I am in no mood to listen to the dead. I listen to white ladies debate other white ladies about the effectiveness of sun block. I listen to panting dogs, to cigarettes hitting the sidewalk, of fucking and sucking. I wish I could grow spinnerets out of my ass and weave these pieces together. I try but shit just comes out instead.




Comments: Just kind of rolled this out in a few minutes. Not really sure how to end it--I don't really like that last line. I started to get more graphic with scatological references, but it just seemed too trite. I suppose this is my teen girl emo post? "Dear Journal, Mood: Pathetic"

Nonfic about why I haven't updated in a while

After lunch, I went out to the garden across the street from the school. I’ve been trying to find the root of this unsettled feeling creeping in for the past few weeks, but I can’t locate it. Perhaps the coming Rapture, or dreams I just can seem to remember but have the flavor of being perverse, or maybe its just New Mexico slowly warming up for the scorching summer has thrown me off balance. I try to make sense of it all: the job applications, boys kissing my neck, buying cars and paying bills. I can tell my mother is worried: I remind her its part of being an adult. I try to focus, try to write something, anything, really, but even my eyes seem deep and hazy. Next to me is a mess of leaves in a tree, nested and tangled.

Rules for writing

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Prompt Ideas?

I'm trying to throw around some prompt ideas for my next piece. I tried writing one based off of "You find a roll of film surreptitiously" and it just didn't work. "Atonement" is based off "write about a person who's reputation is based on an inanimate object." Clearly, I use the wiggle room of interpretation. I'm off to scour my prompt books, but in the meantime, to the two people who look at this site, do you have any suggestions?

Flash Fiction Results III

“Trainyard”

She was always nervous around attractive people. Skin stretched smooth over strong jaw lines and collarbones framed by modern cuts made with old fabric. She watches distinguished brows furrow at bright tattoos, tight rolled joints, and sweet plum sake. She secretly massages her throat trying to find the right words to say. Most of the time words come out fawning and muddled: she tries to wipe the drool off her chin but can’t seem to keep it clean. A sandy boy eyes her snake-toothed with knotted pulse. She doesn’t want to see this, hides in the bathroom from these kinds of stares--would rather see the mountains burn: Flaming and bright.


Notes and Reflections: Oh sweet shit. I *hate* this ending (after "knotted pulse").* I know I seem to bitch a lot about my writing but this is one of the challenges I discovered about Flash Fiction: endings are hard. Usually, my method for writing is that I allow the language to take the story where it needs to go. With flash fiction, I don't have as much time to meander. None of my Flash Fiction stories were 100 words, most are around 130. I think that if I were to continue writing in this form I would have to exercise more discipline: writing, re-writing, and cutting out my "darlings"**. It's not that other writing doesn't require this kind of discipline, there is just a shorter time in Flash Fiction to get your point across lyrically. I have seen it done before, good flash fiction. These pieces just aren't up to par. Perhaps I'll revisit Flash Fiction in a few weeks/months.

Additionally, although I like the wording of this piece (especially "snake-toothed with knotted pulse"), it completely lacks a story. Girl goes to Place X, feels awkward, runs away from a boy staring at her, wishes she were somewhere else. Fuckballs. Why don't I just open up my high school journals and copy that shit onto here? It seems so masturbatory, writing this Amelie-like kind of character. It's cute, but it's trite. /end rant&sweary critique.

*Actually, on second thought, I do like the way "stares" sounds. I'm a sucker for long "a's" and one syllable words.
**"Darlings," for those of you who don't know, are words/sentences/paragraphs that you absolutely adore and don't want to part with but you need to anyway.