Nonfic about why I haven't updated in a while

After lunch, I went out to the garden across the street from the school. I’ve been trying to find the root of this unsettled feeling creeping in for the past few weeks, but I can’t locate it. Perhaps the coming Rapture, or dreams I just can seem to remember but have the flavor of being perverse, or maybe its just New Mexico slowly warming up for the scorching summer has thrown me off balance. I try to make sense of it all: the job applications, boys kissing my neck, buying cars and paying bills. I can tell my mother is worried: I remind her its part of being an adult. I try to focus, try to write something, anything, really, but even my eyes seem deep and hazy. Next to me is a mess of leaves in a tree, nested and tangled.